Chuck Norris Facts

Well, its not really facts, but its an internet phenomenon. For years now, various people have made Chuck Norris jokes. Most of them are one liners, others, well, not 1 liners lah!

Let me share to you what wikipedia wrote about it.

Chuck Norris facts are satirical factoids about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris's toughness, attitude, virility, sophistication, and masculinity.

The facts typically claim that Norris is a tough, all-powerful super-being. Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions mentioning country-specific advertisements and other Internet phenomena. Allusions are also sometimes made to his use of roundhouse kicks to perform seemingly any task, his large amount of body hair with specific regard to his beard, and his role in the action television series Walker, Texas Ranger.

Chuck Norris Facts originally started appearing on the Internet in early 2005. Conan O'Brien's Chuck Norris jokes on Late Night with Conan O'Brien (which generally center on Walker, Texas Ranger) have been seen as an inspiration for the fad. Chuck Norris Facts followed facts based on actors Vin Diesel, Mr. T, and Bob Saget. The exaggerated style of these facts is similar to a recurring Saturday Night Live sketch called "Bill Brasky".

Due to the popularity of this phenomenon, similar jokes have been created for various other celebrities, as well as fictional characters.


That being said, let me share with you my favourite Chuck Norris Facts (Drum rolls please....)
Some are jsut downright ridiculous, but thats what makes it funny.

* Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

* Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

* Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

* When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

* Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

* Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch

* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

* Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow

* Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

* Chuck Norris does'nt turn on the lights, he turns off the dark.

* Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

* Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

* Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired

* Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes

* Chuck Norris never needs a flash light, he just stares into the darkness and it moves out of the way.

* Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

* Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

* Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants

* Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

* Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

* Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live

* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

* Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

* Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

* Chuck Norris can divide by zero

* Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs

* Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush

* Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris does not cry.